Rub-A-Dub club

Deblina Chakravorty, Jun 4, 2011, 11.40am IST

We pride ourselves in being the only metro city that parties till the wee hours! After one such night-out and still nursing a hangover, our roving eye attempts a hazy recollection of the fashion bloopers, the inane conversations and a bunch of other things that come free with occasional trips to city nightclubs

The desi “SATC”

Solo, in twos, threes or fours, twenties to the fifties, there’s bound to be cosmo-martini-toting women in high heels perching themselves pretty on bar stools. Replace Carrie’s wild locks and Miranda’s fiery bob with perfectly blow-dried, straight, sleek tresses, tom-tom the conversation between men and…uh, men and what do you get? the desi version of the “Sex and the City” gals! Kolkata may not be New York but that doesn’t stop them from saying that they ‘heart’ their city! A gentle reminder: Shall we liken our city to London, for the time being?

Match-much and CAT-astrophe

Watch out, tigers on the prowl! Some party-goers take fashion magazines so seriously that they go overboard with one particular trend, ending up as a headline on the ‘fashion disasters’ bulletin board! The animal print, for instance, is one such trend that’s being sported just about everywhere, shoes, bags, dresses, hair accessories. When done all together, you not only become a fashion victim, but a real beast on the loose!

Bandage bondage

The bandage dress looks cool on on Shilpa Shetty and…er, The Mummy! So before you decide to wrap yourself up in a dress that’s a tad too small for your size, spare athough for those love handles that are dying for a breath of fresh air!

Con-fusion 

In the early 2000s when the bharatiya nari suddenly went global, there was a spate of kurti-jean-bindi-bangles sporting leggy lasses that made Indo-chic cooler than ever, a probable hangover of Madonna’s ‘oriental’ phase after her “Ray of Light” swept the world over. Cut to a decade later, it’s more confusion than fusion as wannabe fashionistas are suffering from identity crisis, lost between western and eastern wear. It takes more than guts to drape a sari over cigarette pants and while babes may think that the ethnic look is the route to aantel-sexy, the kurti-denims, Converse and jhola, at hotspots, it looks meh!

That too, tattoo?

While it’s cool to transform your body into a canvas, what’s not cool is flaunting boring tats. Need examples? The name of a loved one, religious symbols and coloured tribal tattoos. Worse are the temporary ones which come in all glittery shapes and sizes! A word of caution: tattoos should not be confused with henna, mehndi, the likes. Artificial tattoos, though, are quite common among those who don’t want to take the pains of going to a pro tattooist. Show them off to your college friends and not in the nightclubs!

Wolverine, ahoy

Dear men, unless you want to look like an Indian werewolf in a disco, clip those long sideburns and please, if you have to wear your shirt unbuttoned, make sure your chest hair is neatly trimmed, or better still, waxed.

Item-shitem

Munni, Sheila, Shalu, kajra, thumka, jalwa! Where would we go without Bollywood item numbers? While there is a growing base of devotees of a more underground, alternate form of club music (read Electronica), the crowd still loves to chiggy-wiggy to popular Bolly-beats. So when the DJ decides to spin a Munni badnaam hui or a Bidi jalai le, the crowd is sure to be on their feet.

Line mein aa ja

I was like, going there anywayz babez, I can give you a ride…

Ssup wid you?

Kya chal raha hai?

The PYTs are in LBDs…

Am I spilling?

Published first in The Times of India

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One thought on “Rub-A-Dub club

  1. As much as this is informative.. it also funny.

    You seem to be a big fan or real tattoos 😉
    And that is so true – “Wolverine, ahoy”

    Keep Sharing!
    TC!
    Ajay

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